Dish Duty
By Clarissa Dyer
My mom has always told me that love in marriage can be at the doing level or the cherishing level. There are the day-to-day activities that proclaim a husband and wife in union, but cherishing each other goes much further. Marriages that are nurtured will last and flourish. Although I haven’t been married very long, I’ve learned a lot about communication, and my love for my husband has gained more depth.
When we were first married, I was concerned that my husband wasn’t helping me do the dishes enough. I became too absorbed in being “fair”. I didn’t want to be placed in the stereotypical role of the wife doing the dishes and making the meals every night when I worked a job and attended school, too. Luckily I finally realized that my behavior was focusing too much on myself. Even though it was hard, I held my tongue and did the dishes without complaint one night. Only five minutes later, my husband started drying the dishes after I had placed on a dish towel on the counter. Ironically, I found that my husband had more concern and was more willing to help me when I gave him the opportunity to serve me.
I learned from this experience that remembering the love I have for my spouse is very important in every aspect of our lives together. I’ve heard some women say that when they are angry, they write down as many things they can think of that they love about their husbands, before they go and talk to him about their concerns. It’s important not to avoid communicating one’s feelings because they will just blow up in your face if you don’t. The key is to be calm when you do communicate so that what was a simple concern doesn’t turn into a petty fight over each others character flaws. That’s why keeping a list of things you love about your spouse is so important in those times that you want to rashly strike out before thinking about who you are hurting.
I’ve found that the more I do for my husband that is sweet and thoughtful, the less I am likely to be irritated by his flaws. Cherishing him is what I can do to nurture our relationship. Marriage-like anything else-can either progress or regress. I chose this topic because I wanted to evaluate what I am doing to help our marriage progress. I also want other married couples to know that everyone has problems and communication difficulties. That’s just life. The difference lies in what we do to improve and strengthen our marriages. For a healthy marriage, dish duty is worth it!
My mom has always told me that love in marriage can be at the doing level or the cherishing level. There are the day-to-day activities that proclaim a husband and wife in union, but cherishing each other goes much further. Marriages that are nurtured will last and flourish. Although I haven’t been married very long, I’ve learned a lot about communication, and my love for my husband has gained more depth.
When we were first married, I was concerned that my husband wasn’t helping me do the dishes enough. I became too absorbed in being “fair”. I didn’t want to be placed in the stereotypical role of the wife doing the dishes and making the meals every night when I worked a job and attended school, too. Luckily I finally realized that my behavior was focusing too much on myself. Even though it was hard, I held my tongue and did the dishes without complaint one night. Only five minutes later, my husband started drying the dishes after I had placed on a dish towel on the counter. Ironically, I found that my husband had more concern and was more willing to help me when I gave him the opportunity to serve me.
I learned from this experience that remembering the love I have for my spouse is very important in every aspect of our lives together. I’ve heard some women say that when they are angry, they write down as many things they can think of that they love about their husbands, before they go and talk to him about their concerns. It’s important not to avoid communicating one’s feelings because they will just blow up in your face if you don’t. The key is to be calm when you do communicate so that what was a simple concern doesn’t turn into a petty fight over each others character flaws. That’s why keeping a list of things you love about your spouse is so important in those times that you want to rashly strike out before thinking about who you are hurting.
I’ve found that the more I do for my husband that is sweet and thoughtful, the less I am likely to be irritated by his flaws. Cherishing him is what I can do to nurture our relationship. Marriage-like anything else-can either progress or regress. I chose this topic because I wanted to evaluate what I am doing to help our marriage progress. I also want other married couples to know that everyone has problems and communication difficulties. That’s just life. The difference lies in what we do to improve and strengthen our marriages. For a healthy marriage, dish duty is worth it!
