Making it Work: Having a Christ Centered Marriage
By Naomi Ewer
Imagine it’s your wedding day and you and your fiancée have spent months making calls to family members, the caterer, setting a temple sealing date, and setting up for the reception. Suddenly, all the excitement of planning is over and you and your new husband are now married. What happens next? This article will discuss what it takes to have a healthy marriage that is focused around principles of the gospel such as patience, charity, and most importantly, love.
My parents Fred and Deborah Ewer were married on December 10, 1984. They have now been married for 25 years and are a continuous example to me of a couple who are constantly working together to support each other and solve problems both with each other as well as financially. My dad is a person who doesn’t like confrontation or tension in the home and has to take time to process things in his mind when making decisions. My mom is very straightforward and almost always wants an immediate answer when planning things. It is obvious that my parents have very different dynamics in their personalities but I believe that that’s why they complement each other so well. My mom has to always try to be patient with my dad as they work through things like finances, deciding what to do on a date or simply making time to talk about other issues. On the reverse end my dad has to show patience toward my mom when she pushes him for an answer to a certain question. From a General Authority’s perspective, Elder Russell M. Nelson offers this advice when he suggests,
“…Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.”
Recently, my dad was released as bishop in our home ward and had spent the last five years serving those members who needed help or were struggling with personal problems. Often, his nights would be spent at meetings and we would hardly see him. However, my mom always made sure that dinner was made and that he had a chance to sit down and eat even if it was in a hurry. There is no doubt in my mind that she spent time praying for him and giving him time to relax and rest from everything he had to do. All these little acts are examples to me of how much she loves him and honors his priesthood calling.
The definition of charity is “the pure love of Christ” and I saw this demonstrated most often in my grandparent’s marriage. As I was growing up, my dad’s parents were always full of energy and happy whenever our family came to visit them. Because of health issues my grandma became weak and could no longer leave the house except for short amounts of time and my grandpa was left to care for her. I remember watching him do little things for her like getting a glass of water or holding her hand for support as they walked to the front door to tell us goodbye. Eventually we knew she would pass away and as a last request she asked for a priesthood blessing. As I watched my dad and Grandpa lay their hands on her head and listened to what was said I knew that Heavenly Father wanted her to come home. Later at her funeral, a letter was read that had been written to him from her and in it she expressed her love and gratitude for all he had done for her and she was grateful that they had been able to be together and raise a family. She also told him how much she loved him and thanked him for taking care of her. These examples are proof that a marriage can be a happy one if you truly love, appreciate and help each other. They also show that having a Christ like marriage also includes living a Christ-like life as husband and wife and as individuals. Through the temple covenant of marriage I know that my grandparents are sealed for eternity, my parents have that blessing as well, and that I will take part in that it in the future.
Imagine it’s your wedding day and you and your fiancée have spent months making calls to family members, the caterer, setting a temple sealing date, and setting up for the reception. Suddenly, all the excitement of planning is over and you and your new husband are now married. What happens next? This article will discuss what it takes to have a healthy marriage that is focused around principles of the gospel such as patience, charity, and most importantly, love.
My parents Fred and Deborah Ewer were married on December 10, 1984. They have now been married for 25 years and are a continuous example to me of a couple who are constantly working together to support each other and solve problems both with each other as well as financially. My dad is a person who doesn’t like confrontation or tension in the home and has to take time to process things in his mind when making decisions. My mom is very straightforward and almost always wants an immediate answer when planning things. It is obvious that my parents have very different dynamics in their personalities but I believe that that’s why they complement each other so well. My mom has to always try to be patient with my dad as they work through things like finances, deciding what to do on a date or simply making time to talk about other issues. On the reverse end my dad has to show patience toward my mom when she pushes him for an answer to a certain question. From a General Authority’s perspective, Elder Russell M. Nelson offers this advice when he suggests,
“…Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.”
Recently, my dad was released as bishop in our home ward and had spent the last five years serving those members who needed help or were struggling with personal problems. Often, his nights would be spent at meetings and we would hardly see him. However, my mom always made sure that dinner was made and that he had a chance to sit down and eat even if it was in a hurry. There is no doubt in my mind that she spent time praying for him and giving him time to relax and rest from everything he had to do. All these little acts are examples to me of how much she loves him and honors his priesthood calling.
The definition of charity is “the pure love of Christ” and I saw this demonstrated most often in my grandparent’s marriage. As I was growing up, my dad’s parents were always full of energy and happy whenever our family came to visit them. Because of health issues my grandma became weak and could no longer leave the house except for short amounts of time and my grandpa was left to care for her. I remember watching him do little things for her like getting a glass of water or holding her hand for support as they walked to the front door to tell us goodbye. Eventually we knew she would pass away and as a last request she asked for a priesthood blessing. As I watched my dad and Grandpa lay their hands on her head and listened to what was said I knew that Heavenly Father wanted her to come home. Later at her funeral, a letter was read that had been written to him from her and in it she expressed her love and gratitude for all he had done for her and she was grateful that they had been able to be together and raise a family. She also told him how much she loved him and thanked him for taking care of her. These examples are proof that a marriage can be a happy one if you truly love, appreciate and help each other. They also show that having a Christ like marriage also includes living a Christ-like life as husband and wife and as individuals. Through the temple covenant of marriage I know that my grandparents are sealed for eternity, my parents have that blessing as well, and that I will take part in that it in the future.
